Thurmond.jpgDo you know how some people nag their spouse to get something done? It may seem like a good idea to the nagger since it gets results. However, this is a short-term solution can cause long-term problems in a marriage. Read on to discover seven ways nagging can damage your relationship.

The Nagger and the "Nagee"

We all know how nagging works. One person (the nagger) bugs the other person (the “naggee”) to do something. The “naggee” does not want to do this, but he/she eventually does it just to get the nagger off his/her back.

For the nagger, this seems like a good solution. After all, they got their way. However, the foundation of your marriage can be damaged if this happens frequently.

These Problems are Caused by “N.A.G.G.I.N.G.”

N: Nuisance You are a nuisance whenever you nag your mate. It is like the pesky mosquito that keeps buzzing around and will not leave you alone. It is very annoying. Is that the type of relationship that you want to have with your mate?

A: Anger and Resentment Frequent nagging can lead to anything from irritation to fury in your spouse. Over time, this leads to walls of resentment in your marriage.

G: Grow Apart from Each Other Your spouse may start avoiding you if you continue to nag them. This can create an emotional distance between the two of you.

G: Goes Where the Grass Looks Greener If constant nagging drives a wedge between you, then your spouse may become discontent with your marriage. It could even drive him/her into the arms of someone else.

I: Is Inconsiderate Nagging is a form of manipulation. You try to control your spouse’s behavior through constant complaining. It shows a lack of respect for their desires and feelings. Essentially you are demonstrating that your desires are more important than their desires.

N: Not Conducive to a Partnership Nagging is one-sided. Your partner only complies with your demands out of frustration and not based on an agreement between both of you.

G: Gets You Short-Term Results, But Long-Term Problems Is getting what you want in the short-term worth the problems caused by nagging? Before you start nagging, you might want to consider the long-term consequences. Nagging is just one common mistake that couples make.

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  • Dori

    This is so true. Nagging gets you nowhere. It does drive a wedge into the relationship and can ruin the whole partnership.

    Jul 1, 2009 at 10:24 am
  • heidi

    ooohhhhhh! This was very, very helpful! I could use this!! Thanks!

    Jul 1, 2009 at 8:59 pm
  • Jenera

    Great article and all so very true. I’ve been guilty of nagging a time or two (or more!) and have found it never gets us anywhere except angry with each other.

    Jul 2, 2009 at 12:53 am
  • RE Ausetkmt

    when I was first starting classes to become a therapist, we were taught that in every conversation there is a 7 year old; and a 4 year old. you must choose to be the 7 year old consciously in each response. otherwise there is no conversation.

    nagging is a negative response to uncompleted communication.

    to overcome it you must conclude the proper triggers for the intended target, and address the issue accordingly; otherwise it’s like speaking portugese to a man from papau new guinea.

    great topic indeed

    Jul 2, 2009 at 3:15 am
  • Dorothy L

    Well said RE….

    Nagging like any other annoyance released from ones mind-to-mouth is a bad/negative habit and that is all. A habit that can end a relationship, nevertheless, so be very aware of your irrational thoughts and uncontrollable food for thought spews so to speak.

    Selective hearing is what is used in defense, making it a definite one-sided affair. Who likes one-sided affairs…not me :) It is wasting valuable airspace and energy…it can also add wrinkles due to the frowning that goes along with the ‘nagging’; people generally do not smile when ‘nagging’!

    Great awareness post. Now. if we could all just put those words into action…we would have a perfect world!!

    Jul 2, 2009 at 8:07 am
  • jacqueline

    @RE Ausetkmt: So, there really IS a little kid in all of us. I’m determined to be the 7 year old. :-)

    @Dorothy L: Nagging like any other annoyance released from ones mind-to-mouth is a bad/negative habit and that is all. A habit that can end a relationship. . .(WARNING Everyone). Thanks!!

    Jul 3, 2009 at 4:18 am
  • Fatherlyours

    Yes, So true. Great post. Re Ausetkmt, maybe what you are saying was the transactional analysis?

    Jul 3, 2009 at 8:41 am
  • Leet

    So true… wow..I should extremely stop it… though sometimes I enjoyed it… ;)

    Jul 6, 2009 at 10:28 pm
  • kriz cpec

    Great post. :)

    Jul 23, 2009 at 10:12 pm

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